December 18, 2010

A Visit with Santa

Mommy has a special surprise for youabie! Today we are going to the mall and see a very special elf! Yes, that’s right, Santa Claus himself!  Now no crying or being naughty, and yes you have to sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas.  (never you mind all the kids and mommies pointing and giggling at you)  And if you behave yourself maybe he will give you a special paci with a candy cane at the end instead of a nipple.  Wouldn’t that be fun sweetie?  Oops, think someone needs a diaper change after that! Have a very Merry Christmas! Mommy Maggie 1*888*430*2010
December 13, 2009

No No Santa

When I was a teenager, my Mama took my little cousin to see Santa at the local store. I didn’t want to go, I was too old to see Santa and if any of my friends were to see me in line I would never live it down. My Mama made me go, and I stood there, holding my cousin’s hand. I don’t think she wanted to be there either, but my Auntie had asked my Mama to take her so off we went. As both her and I stood there moving up little by little we could finally see Santa. He looked tired and weary, not a great look to have when you are supposed to convey jolliness and joy. As we made our way forward, listening to canned in Christmas music, I looked over to the right of Santa and saw an elf. Not just any elf, no. This was the best looking Elf I have ever seen in my life. Dark hair, light blue eyes, smile that could melt your panties right off your body. All of a sudden I was excited to see Santa, I kept pulling on my cousin’s arm, and she was getting mad. After about 15 minutes we were there, her on Santa’s lap, and Me wishing I was on the Elf’s lap, in that little plastic house behind Santa where nobody could see us. I kept staring at him and he was staring right back, and then he smiled and walked over and gave me a candy cane. And that was it, it was over, my cousin was off of Santa’s lap and the Elf went back to doing his Elfish things. Moral: When faced with a fat uninterested guy, look near him to find the sexy one with the great tasting candy cane. Liz 1-888-430-2010
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