When I was a teenager, my Mama took my little cousin to see Santa at the local store. I didn’t want to go, I was too old to see Santa and if any of my friends were to see me in line I would never live it down. My Mama made me go, and I stood there, holding my cousin’s hand. I don’t think she wanted to be there either, but my Auntie had asked my Mama to take her so off we went. As both her and I stood there moving up little by little we could finally see Santa. He looked tired and weary, not a great look to have when you are supposed to convey jolliness and joy. As we made our way forward, listening to canned in Christmas music, I looked over to the right of Santa and saw an elf. Not just any elf, no. This was the best looking Elf I have ever seen in my life. Dark hair, light blue eyes, smile that could melt your panties right off your body. All of a sudden I was excited to see Santa, I kept pulling on my cousin’s arm, and she was getting mad. After about 15 minutes we were there, her on Santa’s lap, and Me wishing I was on the Elf’s lap, in that little plastic house behind Santa where nobody could see us. I kept staring at him and he was staring right back, and then he smiled and walked over and gave me a candy cane. And that was it, it was over, my cousin was off of Santa’s lap and the Elf went back to doing his Elfish things. Moral: When faced with a fat uninterested guy, look near him to find the sexy one with the great tasting candy cane.